"I think I'll go back to doing what I do best, watching furry porn" - Chadwick Jones Presents: Octopus
Chadwick Jones is the star and namesake of the Dyercentral series Chadwick Jones Presents. Despite appearing relatively late in the Dyercentral chronology, he quickly became the spokesperson and main character of the entire channel.
Chadwick is a large, rounded man with blonde and brown hair ranging from short to long. He wears a green checkered shirt with a dark undershirt. He commonly wears either blue jeans or brown khakis and a black sweater vest worn unzipped. The most notable part of his outfit is a red and black checkered beanie with a patch from the Los Angeles Angels baseball team.
Compared to most characters on Dyercentral, Chadwick has been shown to have the most subtle and well evaluated personality. He is inherently naive and impulsive at heart, but he has also been shown to care about deeper issues such as the Panther crisis. While he is selfish in the sense that he prefers not to work on anything if he isn't forced to, he is also one of the first responders when things go wrong and he is desperately needed.
Due to the mind controlling chip in his head, Chadwick's true personality is not fully known, The chip appears to activate whenever he is angry or starts remembering something that he shouldn't. The chip's presence wasn't known to the audience until it was damaged in the Tarzan review, which caused it to emit large electrical discharges whenever it activated.
Chadwick also has a rather perverse side of his personality that has been subverted since season 2, with Dyer taking up that side when it was needed in a review. Other dark sides of his personality include his tendency towards mania and occasional displays of alcoholism.
Prior to the events of Chadwick Jones Presents: Season 1 Chadwick was living in a Panther compound, confined to a single room and lazily surfing the internet. By this point he likely already had the control chip implanted in his head and was being monitored by Panther to prevent his development.
A team of Dyercentral characters including Old-Man Dyer, Socko, Brain Surgeon, and Tony Ball had recently come up with the idea for a review show that included editing and joke telling, and Old-Man Dyer suggested to the team that they could use Chadwick as a host.
Chadwick Jones Presents: Season 1 Edit
The Beginning of the Frustration Edit
Chadwick decided to accept the job as a host on a trial run, seeing if "reviewer" was a position he would enjoy. At the end of his first review, he decided that the role is really not for him and he would prefer to indulge in carnal media instead. However, his short lived retirement was interrupted by a strange man in an orange mask, who told him that it was his destiny to review the sequel.
Chadwick reluctantly finished this second review, prompting the man in the mask to return again and tell him there are more movies for him to review. Chadwick immediately refused this, throwing Coatmon at his face. Coatmon destroyed the mask, revealing the man as a high pitched doofus known as the Meddler. He told Chadwick that he is here for revenge and he owns a time traveling machine that he will use to destroy the movie Robocop if Chadwick did not do what he asked. The Meddler was going to force him to watch a sequence of increasingly bad movies until he committed suicide from the strain.
This started a period in which the Meddler would make regular stops at the end of each review in order to throw a new movie at Chadwick, expecting him to review it.
The Puppy Hour Revolution Edit
During an episode of another Dyercentral show Mr. Dyer, the founder and CEO of Dyercentral, decided to cease all programming on the channel to make way for a new show called Puppy Hour. This prompted Dyer, a star from The Extreme Series, to attempt to assassinate Mr. Dyer. After his attempt failed, Chadwick Jones, the Meddler, and the Brain Surgeon arrived to team up against Mr. Dyer. Chadwick launched a ki blast, Surgeon used a ray gun, the Meddler fled, and Dyer used his sword to deal the final blow to Mr. Dyer, killing him.
Afterwords, Dyer recognised that he was the second longest standing character of Dyercentral, meaning he now was in control of the channel. However, he realised that he was not nearly as important as he used to be and relinquished the position to Chadwick Jones. Chadwick then declared that from this day forward, all of the Dyercentral characters now own the channel.
A Change of Location Edit
At the beginning of the El Muerto review, Chadwick was stunned to find that he was suddenly in a completely different room than before. It turned out that the Meddler had traveled back in time and rearranged the design of the building. When Chadwick asked him why, the Meddler had no answer. It was at this point that the movies being presented were actually becoming seriously bad. When Chadwick was presented with Bleeding Rose he confused it for the worst movie on this list since Glenn Dyer had hinted that it would begin with the letter B. However, it turned out that the worst movie was actually far worse, Beneath the Mississippi.
The film caused Chadwick to attempt to end his life. Luckily, he was caught and sent to the the Asylum for Crazy People before he could succeed. The Meddler then reappeared to finish the job and force him to complete a review. Chadwick struggled through the film and barely managed to survive, partially thanks to the Brain Surgeon, who gave the final thoughts after Chadwick incapacitated himself from despair. Chadwick was so overwhelmed with joy at his survival that he immediately destroyed the copy of Beneath the Mississippi with a ki blast.
The Meddler was convinced that he had to be dead by now, so he returned to see his work. Instead, he found that Chadwick was alive and incredibly angry at him. Chadwick chased him into his ship, getting his beanie temporarily changed in the process. When he was onboard he was distracted by the ships outlandish design, allowing The Meddler to activate the baddy_no_move_no_more program, trapping him in an invisible force field. As the Meddler gloated over this, Coatmon snuck behind him and bit his posterior, sending him into a panic and causing him to fall out of the airlock. The Brain Surgeon immediately freed Chadwick, but informed him that the ship was now out of control, flying through time and space.
Chadwick Jones Presents: Season 2 Edit
An Unexpected Turn Edit
Somehow, Chadwick ended up unconscious in an empty field somewhere in New Zealand, The Brain Surgeon and The Meddler's machine nowhere in sight. A couple of New Zealanders found him and reported it to the police, alerting the local chapter of the Panther Resistance Unit, who took him to see Don Maccaroni. the leader of the establishment. Don informed him of his situation and revealed that he will have to continue reviewing movies. Chadwick immediately rejected this proposal, breaking free of his bonds and walking outside. He became stunned by the harsh New Zealand surroundings, allowing Don to shoot him between the eyes. It was revealed that, for whatever reason, Chadwick had incredibly strong skin that was resistant to gunfire, meaning bullets are more of a nuisance than a danger. Don told him that he will review movies like normal, only now he has special effects.
Making A Break For It Edit
For several episodes Don kept Chadwick under lock and key, thwarting his attempts to escape and forcing him to review more and more bad movies. However, Chadwick finally got his chance during the Robocop 3 Review, when his anger from watching the movie gave him enough strength to break through the door with a ki blast. He was initially pleased with the idea of freedom, but decided to finish the review before his escape.
As he triumphantly flew through the air with his newly realised power of levitation, Chadwick got distracted by a flashback and crashed into a skyscraper in Auckland. The PRU found and retrieved his unconscious body, bringing him back to a furious Don Maccaroni. The Don then revealed a new gun that would be powerful enough to pierce through Chadwick's skin, and claimed that if he got into any more trouble, then he would die. He also gave him a new movie to review, one that he guaranteed would make him no longer want to leave.
The Point and Deception Edit
This movie turned out to be The Point, a film that was co-reviewed by Old-Man Dyer. At the end of the review, Chadwick became more open minded about being a critic and even seemed excited for the next movie, Tarzan 3D.
The review of that movie was made almost impossible by the presence of an annoying narrator that refused to leave Chadwick alone. As the narrator taunted Chadwick, the latter began to emit sparks from his head and struggle with his anger. When the narrator started narrating classic films, Chadwick's resistance gave out with a flurry of sparks as he immediately began to pummel the narrator with his bare hands. To his surprise, he discovered that the narrator was actually Don Maccaroni in disguise. Don revealed that this was part of a plan to destroy a control chip in Chadwick's brain, one that suppresses his anger and memories, including those of the chip itself.
The Dragon Ball Lookback Edit
At the end of the first episode of the Lookback, a new character called Marvin Jones was seen at a Panther monitoring station. Throughout the Lookback series, Marvin and the Panther Army have been steadily advancing towards Chadwick and the last remaining PRU outpost. In his first appearance, he made the haunting notion that it was time for a "family reunion".
In episode 3, the PRU headquarters in Geneva was destroyed by a strike team, leaving Don Maccaroni as the sole leader. With this new authority, he decided to level with Chadwick on as much of the story as the chip would allow him to remember. From this point onward, Chadwick became fully invested in the fight against Panther.
During episode 6, whist Chadwick was commenting on a scene between Mr. Satan and Android 18, he suddenly received a massive influx of memories that increased the sparks coming from his head and caused him to fall on the floor, screaming in agony. His life was narrowly spared only because the influx was halted at the last minute.
Episode 8 revealed many answers as well as a few new mysteries. As the Panther invasion commenced, Chadwick and Coatmon were rushed into a bomb shelter so that the lookback could be completed. Everything seemed to be going along normally until he had to talk about the film Bio Broly, which the chip seemed to prevent him from acknowledging. After Don pointed this out to him, Chadwick forced himself to get through it, unlocking several more scattered memories like before, but with much less severely. After the Lookback was finally completed, the chip was still functioning at a basic level. This prompted Don to use his last resort, demanding the Chadwick watches Dragonball Evolution, a notoriously bad film. Chadwick was so threatened by this that he launched a ki blast in an attempt to stop the movie from being played. As his rage grew, his body began giving off more and more energy until he eventually transformed into a Super Saiyan, utterly destroying the chip and clearing Chadwick's mind. This sudden clarity allowed him to focus his thoughts on one person who had been under the radar until now, Coatmon. Chadwick points out that he was just an ordinary stuffed animal but for some reason both himself and Don have been carrying him around and treating him like a person, suggesting that there is some subtle mind control not unlike Chadwick's own chip afoot. Suddenly, the TMTTTTADISANTAS arrives with a very dirty, white haired Brain Surgeon, who collapses on the floor, prompting Chadwick and Don to come to his aide.
Other Appearances Edit
The Dyercentral Christmas Special (Special Edition) Edit
Chadwick was the host and intended sacrifice of what would become the final Dyercentral Christmas
Special. He started off the the special in the same way the other hosts did, by waking up and deciding to watch some Christmas specials on television. Only this time, Chadwick managed to catch on to the cliche and notice how out of place his behavior was (He hadn't even watched television in years). When he tried to get to the bottom of the situation, he found that the outside world was a hostile, Christmas themed wasteland. Just as he was in the height of his panic, a Christmas phantom resembling Don Maccaroni appeared to tell him what's going on.
Every year Dyercentral creates a Christmas Special in order to appease the God of YouTube, afterwards the hosts of said specials die within a few months. This year, Chadwick's head is on the block and the phantoms will not rest until he continues the special and embraces the Christmas spirit.
Chadwick initially tried to stop the Don apparition with a ki blast, but it had no effect. Chadwick then fled across the house to escape the apparitions of Don and the other Dyercentral side characters. When he reached the computer room he initially tried to delete the other Christmas Specials, negating the need for another one, but he decided that doing so would make him a monster like Mr. Dyer. When the apparitions got through the door, he fled into the closet and quickly came up with another plan. When Don opened the closet door, he found Chadwick dressed as an hasidic jew, spouting stereotypical phrases such as "Oy vey". The anger of YouTube commentators over the racist portrayal was strong enough to end the tradition forever and Chadwick's life was spared.
Afterwords, he woke up in his bed again. This time the Christmas special was most certainly over, but he had another obstacle in his place. Don and the other cast members are involved in a cliche comedic romance, all in service of the new Valentines Day special, which turned the outside into a love filled wasteland.
Chadwick Jones Presents: Barney's Great Adventure Edit
A non-canon version of Chadwick appeared in the Barney's Great Adventure review.Throughout The episode, Chadwick had to deal with an oncoming invasion by the nefarious Barney the Dinosaur as well as the constant deaths happening due to Barney's influence. At the end, Barney's invasion reached it's peak and the entire universe fell under his control. Luckily, since the episode was non-canon, the effort was futile and everything was restored as if nothing happened. Barney swore revenge in the future.
Chadwick is the only character featured in the episode besides Barney himself that did not die over the course of the review.
This episode was a part of a competition Chadwick had with Mist C. Laneous, whoever had the most views by 1/15/15 would be crowned King Champion Most Well Endowed Guy of All Time, and the loser would be forced to review The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure. Mist ended up getting twice as many views by the certain date.
Chadwick Jones Presents: Snowbeast Edit
A Mist version of Chadwick was the host of the April Fools day Snowbeast review. The episode began with Mist Meddler interrupting Mist Chadwick's attempt to review the Oogieloves in order to torment him once again. Mist Meddler started by delaying Mist Marvin and the Panther troops (which Mist Chadwick had prior knowledge of), downgrading his editing software, and forcing him to review the film Snowbeast. Over the course of the review Chadwick encountered many other Misted Dyercentral characters, got tormented more and more by the Meddler, and experienced several character's deaths, similar to the Barney's Great Adventure review.
At the end, Barney the Dinosaur appeared once again. Only this time, he not only understood that violence would have no lasting effect, he counted on it. He used this to put Mist Chadwick under unbelievable levels of torture, including genital mutilation and Beneath the Mississippi screenings without the relief of death to save him.
Appearances with Mist C Laneous Edit
Chadwick and fellow reviewer Mist C. Laneous have had numerous, canon appearances over the years. They have been friendly rivals since the beginning of Chadwick Jones Presents, since Chadwick thinks Mist stole his idea for movies reviews. Their appearances are as follows:
Mist~Guys And Dolls Edit
This was the first and so far only full crossover episode between Chadwick and Mist. The plot revolved around The Meddler forcing Mist to do a crossover as reprimand for stealing the idea for a review show (which Mist points out was actually stolen from the Nostalgia Critic). Mist wanted to do a review of The Room, but Chadwick decided that they would review the film adaptation of Guys and Dolls. At the end, Chadwick decided that the review was satisfactory and left Mist alone.
The Barney's Great Adventure competition. Edit
As mentioned above, both Mist and Chadwick did a review of the movie Barney's Great Adventure, using a view count to determine who had the superior one. In a follow up video, the winner of the competition was announced with Chadwick being the loser and Mist announcing the dreaded movie he has to review, The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure. Mist referenced these results in his review of the Grinch Grinches the Cat in the Hat, where he taunted Chadwick for his loss.
Mist's Belated Season 3 Wrap-Up Edit
While Chadwick was not seen or heard during the events of this episode, Emperor Plagiarism did have a phone conversation with him at one point. Apparently, whist the Emperor attended Antago Con, he intended to send Mist over to stay with Chadwick. Instead, Chadwick accidentally received someone called AdventureBlueDude, who was assaulted by Barney the Dinosaur during his stay.
Power and Techniques Edit
Ki Manipulation Edit
Chadwick has the power to utilize ki, the energy that flows through all forms of life, to create perform superhuman feats. It is unknown how he learned these techniques, but he is able to perform them effortlessly. The most notable ones are:
Ki Flight - Focusing the energy underneath him, he can achieve the power of flight. He once used this to flee from the PRU base and regain his freedom.
Ki Blast - The most common of the techniques Chadwick has been seen using. This is performed by cupping his hands together and thrusting his forearms in the general direction of a target, which produces a brightly colored energy beam that obliterates a target. The more powerful version of this is the Kamehameha Wave, which takes more time to charge and produces a more spectacular blast. This version has so far only been used once in order to destroy a copy of Beneath the Mississippi.
Physical Attributes Edit
Tough Skin - Chadwick's skin is incredibly tough and completely bullet proof. A point blank shot between the eyes has a chance to knock him unconscious, but any other area will give him the pain equivalent of a bruise.
Super Strength - Chadwick has been shown to break through rope restraints with ease. It is debatable whether or not he can do the same with metal chains, as he was seen tied up with them but did not even attempt to break them.
Chadwick Jones is the only Dyercentral main character besides Barney the Dinosaur whose death has never been depicted.